Confessions

When I was filling out all the I-promise-never-to-sue-you paperwork at my new yoga studio, I listed Him as my emergency contact.

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I also haven't replaced the faded piece of paper stuck to my mailbox that tells the mail carrier that He and Me reside there (and not to leave flyers, please).

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P.s. No, we never resided in  this particular apartment together. Yes, I put his name on the nameplate anyways. And I'm keeping it for the same reason I put it up: it's a security measure...y'know, because thieves and murderers are deterred by two names on a mailbox as opposed to one.