Now I've been known to unsuspectingly accept a date in the past (while dating Him). I'm sorta naive to those sorts of things, and this naivety served as a constant source of teasing while I was dating Him. He taught me the way of men -- "of course he wants to sleep with you." So I like to think that I'm more alert to that sort of thing these days. But guys seem to have evolved in the past five years since I've been off the market. They don't ask you out in such a straightforward manner, it seems. They're more sophisticated about the whole thing, which leaves people like me wondering if they just want to hang out or if they want to hang out with the possibility of inserting their penile appendage in you at some point. Take suitor #1, who is a colleague that I bump into at parties or in the hallway. He asked me, when I bumped into him, whether I would want to "grab a glass of wine sometime and chat". Well, how can I say no to that? After all, he offered, "I know breakups are hard, so if you want someone to talk to..." And then there's suitor #2, also a colleague, who was a bit more bold. I got this email (we never email) from him yesterday:[Rollercoastess,]Let me add that I haven't hung out with this guy one-on-one either...ever. We have hung out extracurricularly in a group setting, like the time when he told me "I would dance over her dead body" (yeah, it's that guy!).
Let me know when you are up for going to the XXXX bar this weekend. I have a number btw, but was not sure whether you still use it... Its ### ### ####?
[Guy who wants to screw you]
People, I don't know how to deal with these situations! So I did what any adult in this position would do: avoid it. That is, don't reply until you see the person who emailed you in person, then leave the room before you have to bump into them, then send them an email that says you're busy and maybe you can get together in a few weeks. That gives the message that you just want to be friends, right?
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