Really broken up...question mark

Broken up or not broken up -- that is the question. As the two month mark nears, I find myself wondering whether we actually broke up. I mean, we said words to that effect. But since then we've been talking every day. And though we've dropped "I love yous," our conversations are still punctuated with sickly pet names. Just before we hang up, He sends me a kiss (the substitute for "I love you", I suppose).

And I downplayed all of this, even when Male Friend provided his telling analysis of the situation, the gist of which is that by talking everyday we're basically keeping tabs on each other, and making sure that no one else is in the other's life. But today it kinda hit me--that we might not actually be broken up--when he ended the conversation with a "Bye, darling." Darling. Darlin parlin. *Right in my gut.*

Darling got to me even more than the "big" news, which broke a few days earlier: He reiterated an invitation to Guatemala over winter break. "My mom must really like you or something," he teased, "She mentioned again that you're invited to Guatemala over Christmas."

"Mmhmm, your mom loves me. E'rbody knows that. And what about you? What do you think about that?"

Affirmative. He'd like it if I came. But, "We'd obviously be together while we're there, and then go back to not being together. Thar'd be kinda weird."

Maybe. Or maybe we'd be all enlightened about it and shit. Probably not, though.

(In case you're wondering, folks, I don't plan on making any decisions until well into November.)

For now, the only plan is to not follow The Rules. You know, those post-break up conventions that we're supposed to subscribe to. Instead, we've agree to just do what feels right (read: what feels good) in the moment. And if that means calling--for the second time in a day--then so be it.

So far, it's working. And, as Woody Allen once said (well, named a movie after), whatever works.